


Love Makes Them Fools

by Hodgefics



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Developing Relationship, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Drunkenness, F/M, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hodgefics/pseuds/Hodgefics
Summary: Just a collection of drabbles inspired by the relationship that could have been between Atton Rand and the Exile during the events of KOTOR 2.
Relationships: Female Jedi Exile/Atton "Jaq" Rand, The Jedi Exile/Atton "Jaq" Rand, The Jedi Exile/Darth Sion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Trials of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've only played the game without the restored content mod and there were some serious glitches in my original playthrough, so I may have missed out on some cutscenes and plot details. I came up with some of these drabbles as a way to fill in the gaps. Hope you enjoy :)

Atton and Mira walk behind Meena as they venture further into the caves. The Jedi has been even more quiet than usual since they arrived on Korriban and Atton finds himself growing concerned. He watches her glance around the area like she’s seeing something that he and Mira can’t. 

He can’t bring himself to distract the Exile from her navigation of the cave, so he walks a little faster to catch up to Mira. “Hey, is she alright?” He asks, trying to mask his worry with a casual tone. 

Mira stops and frowns at him. “What? What are you talking about?”

He points in the direction they came from. “You saw her back there with those things. Are her...force powers alright?”

Mira frowns. “Why wouldn’t they be?” 

“Because the old woman wouldn’t step foot in this place--and she decided not to bring Visas. Maybe this place makes those with a weakness to the dark side nervous.” He suggests with a shrug. 

Mira rolls her eyes at him. “She isn’t on the dark side.”

“But you don’t know for sure, do you? She  _ was _ exiled and she seems a little on edge.”

“This place is creepy. We’re all on edge.”

Atton shakes his head. “Fine. But if she turns on us, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He says as he goes to follow Meena deeper into the cave. 

A few days after the events at Korriban, Atton wanders the halls of the Ebon Hawk looking for T3-M4. As he passes by the crew quarters, he sees Visas and Kreia standing together and he decides to listen in on their conversation.

Visas is the first to speak. “I have seen glimpses of her trial through the force. Why did she choose to strike the pilot down first? He was neither the weakest nor strongest opponent. And there were others closer in proximity to her.”

Atton’s blood runs cold as he realizes that they are talking about him. He knew something weird had happened to Meena in that cave. When she had returned to him and Mira, she did not speak for hours and she was so pale that Atton thought she was going to collapse in front of them. He figured that she had been subject to some serious force manipulation, but he never thought that he and any of the other crew members were a part of the illusions. 

Atton scowls in Kreia’s direction. If Meena turned on him and the other companions, Kreia surely had something to do with it. But even knowing that, he can’t shake the uneasy feeling in his chest of the thought that Meena had attacked him--and attacked him first. 

Kreia pauses for a moment before she answers Visas’ question and Atton wonders if she’s actually hesitating about divulging the inner workings of Meena’s mind, but she soon opens her mouth to speak. 

“She knew it would hurt her the most,” Kreia says with an unmistakable tone of disapproval. “She could not look him in the eye for more than the second it took to take him down.” 

Atton’s eyes widen at the old woman’s words. He can’t decide if he’s more comforted or disturbed by the revelation. Atton turns to look back into towards the center of the ship and he finds himself wondering why, out of all her companions, Meena would be most bothered by hurting him. 

He thinks for a moment that he should ask Meena about what really went on in those caves, but his heart clenches uncomfortably at the thought of making her relive whatever happened there. 


	2. Mira's Boredom

One of the only things that Atton and Kreia find themselves in agreement on is the fact that Meena is far too generous for her own good. If Meena hadn’t accepted every quest the Mandalorians threw at her, Atton and Mira could have avoided spending the day cutting through vines and swatting bugs as they travel through the thick jungle of Dxun. 

Despite the hot weather and Meena’s increasingly foul mood, Mira still finds time to mess with Atton--especially if it means learning more about their very private leader. 

Mira walks behind Atton with a mischievous grin on her face before she decides to ask, “Why aren’t you and the Captain hooking up?” 

Atton freezes before he turns to stare at Mira with knitted brows.

“What? What are you talking about?” 

Mira shrugs. “You’re obviously interested in each other and she seems a little stressed out, so I’m wondering why you haven’t...relieved stress together.”

Atton scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you’re not into her?” She asks skeptically. 

Atton scowls at Mira but says nothing.

“I knew it.” She says with a satisfied smirk. “So what’s the problem? You think our gloomy Sith-killing machine isn’t interested?”

Again, Atton remains silent and Mira watches as a sad look fills his eyes.

“Hey, man, I was just messing with you. I didn’t mean to bring anything up for you. I really do think you’d be good together.” 

Atton nods at her and he finds his eyes trailing out to where Meena stands with her hands on her hips as she tries to fix one of the long-abandoned machines that litter Dxun’s landscape. 


	3. A Well-Deserved Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meena is tired of being seen only as a Jedi and Atton fully supports her endeavor...until she remembers that she kept the dancer's outfit from Nar Shaddaa.

“Argh!” Meena exclaims as she pushes her way out of the door of the building.

“You alright?” Mira asks.

“No! I’m not alright! I’m so tired of everyone focusing on me as a Jedi. I don’t want to hear how my connection to the force is beautiful, I want someone to tell me I’m beautiful! As a woman! As a hot-blooded woman with needs! I was in exile for ten freakin’ years!” She yells.

“Say it, girl,” Mira says, nodding. 

Atton’s face reddens slightly as he tries not to make eye contact with Meena.

Luckily and unluckily for him, Meena continues fuming and cursing a wide variety of things under her breath until she stops and looks at a building ahead of them.

“You know what? We’re going to the cantina. And I’m putting on my dancer’s outfit.” She says decidedly.

Mira whistles in approval and Atton nods before he realizes exactly what she means.

He watches her walk in that direction for a few seconds, silently debating whether or not he should try and change her mind before he sighs and jogs towards her. 

“Hey, Meena, your Jedi uniform looks just fine—“ he calls as he starts to follow after her.

Mira chuckles at him. “Let her have some fun. She's worked her ass off."

Once inside the cantina, Meena quickly changes into her dancer's outfit in the bathroom. The glittery bikini-like getup instantly attracts a lot of attention and Mira is quick to link her arm with Meena's to prevent anyone from thinking she is up for grabs. 

Mira pulls her closer to her and she whispers, “If we’re gonna do this, you’re going to need a lot of drinks and some serious protection.”

Meena chuckles. “I have you and Atton. Best bodyguards a girl could ask for.”

Mira looks over her shoulder to gauge the young man’s reaction and she finds him glaring at the men whose eyes are raking up and down Meena’s form. Mira rolls her eyes and motions for the bartender to give them some drinks.

“Whatever you say, Captain, this is your night.” She says as she takes a swig of her beer.

Meena smiles and before Mira can stop her, she downs two shots. Atton quickly realizes that it’s going to be a very long night. 

A few hours later, Mira and Meena find themselves dancing drunkenly on top of one of the tables. Atton would usually find the sight of two beautiful women dancing closely together highly attractive, but the fact that one of the women is his arch-nemesis of sorts, Mira, and the other is an ex-Jedi that he has very complicated feelings for really ruins the appeal. He finds himself hoping that Meena will tire herself out and agree to be taken back to the ship.

Fortunately for Atton, a reprieve soon comes in the form of Bao Duhr’s voice on his commlink.

“Atton? Are you there? Where is the General?”

Atton sighs and presses a button to answer the call. “Currently shaking her ass at the cantina,” he says matter-of-factly

Bao Duhr is silent for a few moments before he clears his throat and recovers. “I...see. I thought you should know that Kreia is on a bit of a rampage. She is not very happy about the General’s...lack of focus at the moment.” 

“Figures that the old bat would be keeping tabs on her.” He says bitterly as he rubs his forehead. “We’ll head back to the ship now. I just have to get Meena off the table…” 

Bao Duhr grows quiet once again. “I...think that would be wise.” He says finally. 

Atton turns off the link and starts to walk towards the two women.

“Meena, it’s time for us to go. Kreia’s not happy about this little adventure of yours.” He says loudly enough for her to hear him over the music.

Meena turns in his direction and her face breaks into a grin. 

The look in her eyes is something Atton’s never seen from her and he touches the back of his neck anxiously. “Meena--” He pleads.

She sighs and moves to step off the table. 

Atton sees that her balance is shaky at best and he rushes to hold her arm as she gets down.

“Thank you.” She slurs as she pats his arm gently. 

“Uh-huh.” He says confusedly as he holds her steady against his shoulder.

He thinks for a moment that it would be funny to leave Mira behind, but he realizes that as soon as Meena sobers up, he’d be dead meat. With a sigh, he turns to Mira and yells, “Fun’s over! Let’s go!”

Mira scowls at him, but she hops off the table within seconds. She saunters over to Atton with a smirk and he frowns at her.

“I knew you weren’t that drunk.” He hisses.

Mira simply shrugs as she ruffles Meena’s hair affectionately. 

Atton’s brow raises at the look in her eyes as she watches Meena, but it disappears as quickly as it came and she is soon walking towards the door of the cantina.

Atton gently nudges Meena with his shoulder and she mumbles something incoherent into his jacket. 

Mira turns to watch the two and she chuckles. “Can she walk?”

“She drank half her body weight in booze, what do you think?” He asks sarcastically.

“Guess you’ll have to carry her then.” She says with a small smirk as she turns away from him. “I’m sure Kreia is going to love this.”

Atton hoists Meena into his arms and he starts to follow Mira back towards the ship. As he passes her at the entrance to the Ebon Hawk, he puts his hand out to stop her.

“As far as Meena knows, she walked herself back to the ship, alright?”

Mira studies Atton with furrowed brows. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say.”

He nods and carries her towards the medbay to make sure she’s full of fluids before Kreia gives her the lecture of a lifetime in the morning. 


	4. Rising Tempers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes some spoilers about Atton's past.

Meena had suspected that Atton’s dislike of Mical began the moment she invited him to join their squad. She never understood why Atton had such issues with him. She had thought it was Mical’s over-the-top politeness that got on the hotheaded pilot’s nerves, but lately she’s not so sure. She’s had little else to do other than to torture herself by replaying her interactions with Atton in her mind as he has barely spoken to her since she tried to read his mind with the force. 

After Bao Duhr lets slip that there’s been another argument between Atton and Mical, Meena decides she can’t handle his anger at her anymore and she heads into the cockpit to confront him. 

She finds him sitting in the pilot’s chair with his back towards her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” She yells as she enters the room.

Atton swivels around in his chair to face her and his face instantly adopts its usual defensive look. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” He snaps.

Meena scoffs and paces around the room for a few seconds before she turns back to look at him. “You’re unbelievable! You pick fights with Mical and you can’t even have a conversation with me?”

Atton crosses his arms over his chest and avoids her eyes. “Those are two different things.” He mutters. 

“That doesn’t make any sense. The fact that you’re willing to ‘defend my honor’ or whatever says that you trust me at least a little. So why are you so upset with me?” She demands. 

Atton rubs his temples. “I’m just not ready to have those conversations with you.”

“You’re not ready to say a lot of things.” She mumbles.

Atton’s head jerks up towards her and he scowls. “What’s that supposed to mean?!?”

“It means you’re not being honest with yourself and you’re not being honest with me!!!” She yells.

“And how would you have felt if you knew that I was a Jedi-killer from day one, huh?” He snaps as he moves to stand in front of her. 

Meena shakes her head at him. “That’s not what I’m talking about!”

His anger momentarily dissipates and a look of confusion crosses his features. “It’s...it’s not?”

“No! I…” Meena trails off as she stares defeatedly at the ground. “Forget I said anything. You’ll do what you want.” She says as she leaves the deck. 

Atton is left staring after her with his head and heart pounding.


	5. The Clueless Pilot

A few days later, the exile still hasn’t said a word to Atton and he’s finally starting to understand how she’s felt the past few weeks. 

Atton is so caught up in his thoughts about Meena that he doesn’t notice when Mira steps into the cockpit.

“Heard that little shouting match the two of you had the other day,” Mira says as she leans against the doorway. 

Atton grumbles and shrugs. 

“You know, you’re not an idiot.” She says as she takes a seat next to him.

“Wow, thank you. That makes me feel so much better.” He says sarcastically.

“I mean, you’re not stupid about this. You’re scared and that’s okay.”

Atton’s brows furrow. “Scared? Of what?”

“Of losing her, of being weak to someone else, of expressing your feelings, of the chance of rejection—“

“Stop. You’re way off-base.”

“Am I?”

Atton is quiet for a moment before he asks, “Do you really think that’s what she was talking about yesterday?”

Mira shrugs. “I think she’s had her heart stomped on enough times lately that she just wanted to hear something encouraging for a change.”

“So I should have told her that the mission will go well or something?”

Mira shakes her head at him. “No. She wants to hear something encouraging about the future—a future with you.”

“What?”

“Look, I’ve said too much already. Go easy on her for a few days or I’ll feed you to the boma beasts.” Mira says as she heads back into the ship. 


	6. A Failed Apology

After his talk with Mira, Atton feels like an even bigger jerk than he had when he was ignoring Meena. He decides to make it up to her, but he can barely bring himself to approach her in the dormitory. 

He stands in the doorway for a while before he whispers, “Meena?” in the direction of her seemingly-sleeping form.

Meena sits up and squints at his blurry figure in the doorway. “Hey, Atton. Is something up? I’ve had a long day and I just want to rest.”

“Yeah, I know,” Atton says as he fidgets with the cards in his pockets. “You up for a game of Pizaak?” He asks.

Meena looks for a moment like she’s going to yell at him or throw him out of her quarters, but she simply sits up and nods.

He turns on the lights and walks over to her and begins to set up the cards.

They play a few rounds before Meena turns to watch him.

“Meena? It’s your turn.” 

“I’m sorry.” She says suddenly.

Atton’s eyes dart up to her face. “What?”

“I’m sorry that I tried to use the force to read your thoughts. It was wrong. I just thought that you were...simpler than others.”

Atton scowls and puts his cards down. “You know, I’m getting really tired of people taking digs at my intelligence, I—“

Meena waves her hands to stop his train of thought as she moves a little closer to him. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that people are so...messy and when I met you, I thought you were just a nice and funny guy. I wasn’t expecting for there to be any...resistance.”

Atton gives her a slight nod of acknowledgment before he looks away and busies himself by shuffling the cards. “So why did you do it?” He asks. 

“Because you wouldn’t tell me why you were lying about your past. It felt like you had been deceiving me and I was hurt, but the truth is that I was angry with myself for thinking I knew you in the first place.” She says quietly and Atton finds himself fighting the urge to say or do something to comfort her, but he simply continues to shuffle his cards. 

“I made up this idea of who I wanted and needed you to be and when it turned out to not be reality, I just wanted to know who you really were.”

“And my actions didn’t tell you enough?” Atton asks without thinking. 

“No. Not at all. Honestly, I’m still confused by you and your actions. All you do is complain about the missions and give me a hard time about the decisions I make.”

Atton flinches slightly at her words, but he feels his temper rising.

“Well?” She asks.

“Well, what?” He snaps.

“Why are you still here? I violated your thoughts and you hate my plans, so why are you here?”

“You’re going after the Sith.” He says automatically.

“And that’s what matters to you? Defeating Sith Lords?”

“Well, there aren’t many Jedi left, so it’ll have to do.” He says bitterly. “I mean, it’s not like I have any other reason to stay.”

Meena’s eyes narrow at him. “Right. I’m glad we cleared that up.”

The sudden coldness in her eyes sends a chill down his spine and his stomach lurches as he realizes he may have gone too far.

“I think I’ve had enough of your games for tonight.” She says as she stands and stomps out of the dormitories.

Atton falls back against the wall and smacks his forehead with his hand. "I really am an idiot." He mutters as he throws the cards to the ground. 


	7. As Easy as Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atton and the team manage to get to Goto's yacht and catch up with the Exile. He's very happy to find her alive and well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Atton finding the Exile in the Jekk Jekk Tarr tunnels better than him finding her on Goto's yacht, but it's a little closer to canon this way. Plus I can't remember if the vision I have of him finding her was a real scene or a dream.

On Goto’s yacht, Meena and her companions run into a large room and find a group of bounty hunters and the two Twi’lek assassins waiting for them. 

“We meet again, handsome human.” One of the twins says as they approach the group.

Meena scowls as she readies her lightsaber. “Friends of yours, Atton?”

“Not exactly.” He mutters as he unsheathes his weapon.

Meena, Atton, and the team make quick work of the assassins. Standing over one of the bodies, Meena turns to look Atton with a raised eyebrow.

“When did you have the time to meet twin Twi’lek assassins?” She asks. 

Atton shrugs. “It was back on Nar Shaddaa.”

He watches her face as she processes his words and he soon finds himself growing nervous as her look of casual curiosity turns to one of anger. 

“You mean while I was stuck in a maze and getting kidnapped??!?” She yells. 

Atton throws his arms up in mock surrender. “Hey, give me a break! I got pretty beat up by those girls.”

Meena nods. “That does make me feel better.” 

Atton rolls his eyes at her and he misses the way Meena’s smile fades as her eyes trail over his face and his armored chest. 

“But you don’t look like you’re injured too badly. And I didn’t see any wounds when you...well, you know.” She says before she trails off and looks at the ground.

Atton rubs his neck as he thinks back to how he and Kreia found Meena bloody, bruised, and exhausted in the comm room of the yacht. He had been so relieved to find her alive that he ran towards her and wrapped her in his arms. She had welcomed his touch, relaxing against him as though it was an everyday occurrence. He hadn’t intended to embrace her, but his resolve had worn thin from the stress of the mission.

Some part of him hopes that the moment meant as much to her as it did to him and the blush forming on her cheeks gives her away. He can’t help but to let a small smirk form on his features and Meena shakes her head at him. 

She soon clears her throat and motions for the team to keep moving and Atton is happy to follow behind.


	8. Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atton does his best to comfort the Exile after she experiences yet another betrayal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big spoilers in this chapter!

Meena leaves the Jedi academy in a daze and she doesn’t come to until she reaches the Ebon Hawk and she notices that the hatch has been left open. 

She rushes inside and finds Atton leaning against the wall, his hand holding his side. 

Atton tries to stand as she approaches him. “There you are! What took you so long? The handmaidens came and they took Kreia! I...there was no way I could stop them.” 

Atton calms down enough to take in Meena’s appearance and his words are lost in his throat as he sees the paleness of her skin and the empty look in her eyes.

“I...are you okay? Where are the masters?”

Her gaze falls to the floor and Atton’s jaw drops.

“You’re joking, right? The old woman took down three Jedi masters?”

“She did it to save my connection to the Force,” Meena says quietly. 

Atton runs his hands over his head. He had known Kreia was bad news, but even at her worst, she still managed to protect Meena. 

He wasn’t especially fond of the Jedi masters or Kreia. In his mind, they both embodied some of the worst traits the Jedis had to offer. The masters were close-minded and hypocritical and Kreia was often cruel and power-hungry. It reminds him of why he so distrusted Jedis, but he has to remember that there are reasonable and kind Jedis like Meena out there. 

As they stand next to each other in stunned silence, he recalls how he had always suspected that Kreia was on the Dark side and how he often resented the way she treated the exile, but he has to admit that he probably would have done the same to stop them from taking Meena’s force powers away. 

Atton becomes so lost in his thoughts that he nearly misses how Meena’s balance begins to fail beside him. 

He quickly moves to hold her against his chest. “It’s going to be okay.” He says as convincingly as he can. 

Meena merely lets her head fall on his shoulder and closes her eyes. 

Looking down at the small woman in his arms, he finds himself thinking that everything has to be okay because he knows that nothing will be okay again if he loses her.


	9. Resignation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains huge spoilers!

After dealing with Atris on Telos and taking down the Ravager, Meena is understandably exhausted. Facing Kreia’s betrayal and Atris’ fall to the dark side was proving to be a bit too much for the Exile. 

Aboard the Ebon Hawk, everyone’s eyes are on her. 

Meena leans against the console of the main hold, with dark circles under her eyes and her face drained of all color. 

While most of the crew members understand the significance of Malachor V for Meena, Bao Duhr and Atton are particularly disturbed by the prospect of returning to its surface. Still, the two men understand that Kreia is a threat that cannot be ignored. 

Bao Duhr is the first to try to break Meena from her thoughts. “General? I’m going to program the droids with some new features to prepare for the mission.” 

Meena nods and continues to stare at the image of the planet before her. 

Mira and Atton exchange a look of concern before she motions for the rest of the team to leave the room. 

Atton slowly approaches Meena’s side and he feels the unease radiating from her in waves. 

He moves to touch the console and she snaps out of her daze to grab his hand. He tries to give her a reassuring look, but the moment he meets her eyes, he is shaken to his core. The strong and stoic Meena he has come to know is nowhere to be seen, and in her place is a broken woman with tears in her eyes. 

“Meena?” He whispers. 

The tone of worry in his voice is enough to send a tear streaming down her face. 

She releases his arm and begins to pace in front of him. “This is a suicide mission.” She says as she rubs her hands up and down her arms.

Atton reaches out to hold her shoulders, but Meena still doesn’t look him in the eye. 

“How am I supposed to stop her?!?” Meena asks defeatedly. 

She shakes her head at herself as she remembers all the warning signs of Kreia’s true intentions before she whispers, “This is all my fault.”

Atton frowns. “We had no idea what she was capable of. And she cared about you--you know that.”

Meena closes her eyes as if in pain and his hold on her tightens. 

The deadened look on Meena’s face reminds him of when she had returned from the Jedi academy. She is no stranger to betrayal, but he knows that it has damaged her and that she fears that she will not be able to take an experienced Sith Lord like Kreia down. He wants more than anything for Meena to be free of the Jedi and Sith conflicts, but he knows that countless lives would be lost without her efforts.

“We can’t let her get away.” He says finally. 

Meena wipes her eyes and looks up at him with a frown. “She saved me. After all I’ve done, after all I’ve suffered, they were ready to take the force from me again.”

Atton feels his heart sink as he pictures Meena facing off against Kreia, but he pushes the images from his mind. She’s the galaxy’s best hope at this point and he knows she’ll have the whole team behind her. 

“Meena, you know we have to go.” He says as he reaches out to touch her arm again.

She swats his hand away and avoids his gaze. “Don’t. Just start the ship. If this is how she wants it to end, then fine. Malachor V will finally get what it wants.”

Atton’s blood runs cold at her words. He watches her storm out of the hold and he decides then and there that he will not let Malachor have her.


End file.
